Shots
by Tortured Hylian Soul
Summary: Luke! Get back here and get your damn shot! [Oneshot. Guy & Luke friendship ficlet. Pregame]


"I'm begging you, Guy, _please _just kill me now! Knock me unconscious! Beat me with a bedpan! Just _please _don't do this to me!"

"Yeah, yeah, Luke." Guy drawled lazily as he filled the syringe with an unnamed red liquid. "You have long since proven to me that you would do very well in the theatre, but that begging is amusing me more than anything." He paused as he set the bowl of medicine down and brandished the syringe with a wicked grin. "Now, time for your shot!"

"Why do I need a shot for Mad Rappig Disease?!" the ten-year-old spat back with a frown. "I've never eaten rappig meat in my entire life! And WHY did you DUCT-TAPE ME TO A FREAKING TREE?!" Guy merely clicked his tongue as he advanced upon the struggling boy, whom at that point was attempting to chew through his bonds.

"Now, Luke, you're much too fidgety. With all that wriggling about, I just might shoot you in the arse by mistake!" He grinned as he took one final step before he was directly above the boy. "I really need to limit your caffeine and sugar intake… Now turn your head, say a prayer, and it'll all be over before you know it!" Luke, however, was refusing to go down without a fight.

"I've- I've got money! Yeah! You like gald, don't you, Guy?!" The older boy smirked.

"Nice try." The servant kneeled down before gently taking Luke's forearm. "Now hold still."

"Um… Master Luke? Fellow servant Guy?" came a shy coo from behind Guy's back, causing both boys to turn and Guy to pause the syringe's progression. A female house servant stood before them, holding an ice packet. Guy felt his blood turn to ice water as he was harassed by the thought that something with an extra X chromosome was standing within the same general area as he.

"Y-Ya-Ye-Yi-Y-Yah-Yorgh!" Guy sputtered out, failing to notice Luke reaching for the hidden dagger in his seat pocket with a roll of his eyes.

The female servant smiled warmly, actually quite used to such a reaction from him. "You asked me to bring an ice packet in case of post-swelling, correct?"

Guy continued to stutter nonsense as he broke away from Luke to retrieve said item, just wishing that the girl could be anywhere else as he scuttled away from her like a frightened crab. "Thigh-Tha-Theeeeeeeegh!"

"I think you mean 'thank you', Guy," cackled Luke, whom had made his way behind the servant girl with a wolfish grin. "I _knew _that Master Van's wooden dagger would come in handy some day!" he exclaimed excitedly as he lifted his now butchered bonds. Guy immediately did a double take, switching his view between the grinning Luke and the lonely tree. He ran backwards, grasping the syringe and brandishing it like a weapon.

"Luke! Get back here and get your damn shot!" he shouting, trying to appear intimidating. Luke merely shot back a devilish grin, grasping the now very confused servant girls' apron ribbons.

"Watch it, Guy! I've got a girl here and I'm not afraid to use her!" he shouted, pushing her forward a step for emphasis.

"You wouldn't!" Guy challenged, shaking his head between his clenched fists before pulling himself together. "Don't you _dare_, Luke!" He received a smirk in reply.

"Now that makes me want to do it even more!" He shoved the perplexed girl forward another step. "You! I command you to hug him!"

"Luke, _please_!"

Another shove. "Hug!"

"_No_!"

The girl bit her lip, knowing that there was no other option as she lifted her arms. "Forgive me, Guy…"

"YARGH!" Luke watched in clear amusement as the pair ran around in circles, Guy praying aloud that he wouldn't trip over a garden cobblestone and the girl shooting apologetic glances. And finally, the madness was ended as the girl tripped flat on her face, giving Guy the chance to escape.

"LUKE!"

"Oh, _crap_!"

The servant girl watched in curiosity and partial-horror as a new side of Guy was introduced, raining all the hell he knew upon the poor boy as he dragged him backwards and planted himself firmly on the boy's torso.

"_Help!_ _Don't let him kill me!_"

"_Hold still, damn it!_"

The Duke's son continued to plead desperately, reaching out for the young woman. "_Help me_! You wouldn't want to be responsible for the death of Kimlasca's future Duke, _would you?!"_

"Help me, he's hard to hold down!"

Unsure of what to do, the young servant's cheeks flushed as she backed away slowly.

"Um… actually, I think I… I have to go… do… something… In the kitchen. Right now."

And with that, she beat a hasty retreat into the building behind.

The pair on the ground ceased their struggle for a moment as they stared after her.

Luke's brow furrowed in frustration. "Why doesn't that excuse work when _I_ use it?"

"Because _you_ weren't a temporary distraction!" A roll of duct-tape slammed over the younger boy's head. Guy then proceeded to hold the boy in place as he put the syringe in place, ignoring his numerous colorful protests. Without hesitation, he pushed the needle through the boy's skin with great precision, releasing the medication within the glass chamber. "_There._" Guy rolled onto the stone walkway, seating himself with a grin as Luke pulled himself up.

"That was _it_?"

"Yup."

"Oh…" Silence followed suit.

_WHAM! _

Guy bit back a profanity as he felt Luke's fist connect with his kidney's. "WHAT in the name of Yulia was _THAT _for?!"

Luke scowled as he massaged his sore knuckles. "_That_ was for making me think that it would be worse!" He turned his heels, muttering to himself as he rubbed his tender arm.

Guy, meanwhile, swore that he had just spit up teeth.


End file.
